A T-shirt, a lanyard, and an old ID card

I started working at Lincoln Arts Centre in 2018 while I was a Media Production student. It quickly became my ‘friend job’, and the place that brings me the most joy.

I began front of house, ushering and making coffees, and now I’m an evening supervisor. I love anything artsy-fartsy and theatre, and so this is how I stay connected to that world. Whether it’s dance, chaotic Shakespeare, or a film festival, every shift feels different and everyone’s there for the atmosphere. I kept the job after graduating because it felt like my safe place: flexible, creative, right in the heart of the university, surrounded by students and artists.

Even with my ‘big girl job’, I still pick up shifts because it feels like family. My friends, the Uni and my work all blend here. It gives me fun and creativity in a way nothing else does and it’s where I feel most myself… surrounded by people who want to make exciting things happen.

A mug and a small promotional item

My ‘big girl job’ is at the Ministry of Justice. I started as a PA to a deputy director - literally there kiki-ing, writing notes, “yes queen, anything you want” - but my boss saw something in me and said, you can do more…

I moved into digital support, focusing on ensuring online services are accessible, and that everyone can apply for the help they need. I ended up as the ‘fixer’ when something was wrong: “we found a fault, can you fix it?” and I’d say “bet” (sure I can).

Currently my work relates to the Renters Reform Bill. I work in an environment where I’m aware of politics & rights, so that I can ensure people have access to justice, and the services they’re entitled to - it feels like providing a safety net.

I believe in justice for people who usually get ignored. Sometimes I struggled with not knowing where to turn myself, so it feels full circle that I help others find their way.

A family photograph, identity cards, and a commemorative banknote

I was born in Macau, on the old side of the country, not the artificial bit.

My dad is Portuguese, my mum is Macanese (Portuguese Chinese), and to be honest it was a bit of a surprise when I showed up!

Macau city doesn’t sleep: midnight doctors, late-night restaurants & grocery stores, casino shows - it’s the ‘Vegas of China’.

It's open, welcoming, chaotic, grand and rich with history, but so small! I always say you could fart and someone across the island would smell it - news travels that fast.

One day my mum grabbed me and my two sisters, we went to the airport, and we never turned back. It became just the four of us.

A drawing and an archival photograph

We ended up in Norway through friends who had said to my Mum, “if you want a better life, come to live & work here.” We only lived there a couple of years, but it was the best time because we all had each other.

It feels like a distant, almost implanted memory. It was such a big change at such a young age and it was difficult. I don’t remember everything, only the core flashes like playing football in the snow with my sisters, teachers stopping class so we could watch the northern lights outside the window, and being the only kids in the school with black hair. Apparently at one point I only spoke Norwegian… I don’t even remember this.

Mum was always around in the daytime, but worked late nights at the takeaway. So we felt cared for, yet still yearned for her at night. It was a strange, beautiful mix of closeness and absence.

Barbara’s long-term journal and family photographs

When we came to the UK, we found our first home in Northampton. We felt very much “fresh off the boat”.

There was a high Asian population, we made proper good friends, and felt like we fitted in. It was a tiny tight community, and it was the first time I met Turkish and Black families. I loved experiencing different foods - it was great.

My mother was working really hard to earn money to support us, and that meant she wasn’t always around - but we were never alone. Between Mum’s work friends and my sisters, I was always looked after.

Over time, we managed to build a great family around us. Our house was always so busy with friends, housemates, spare-room guests, more of a chosen family - I loved it, the noise, the busyness, people baking brownies at 3am!

Popcorn, photographs and cinema memorabilia

After graduating from University of Lincoln, I started a Cinema Club for people who felt lonely or anxious... including me. Sometimes I used to be too scared to leave the house, and when my therapist asked, “who’s watching you?” something clicked.

So I went to the cinema, got an Odeon pass, and invited anyone bored or lonely to join. For 6 years now it’s been our non-negotiable hangout: low cost, no alcohol, no pressure. You sit in the dark, watch a film, then talk about it for a bit after.

It cured my social anxiety, because it showed me that everybody else was just as lonely and wanted to connect too. Now we do Monday quizzes at the Mailbox, musical bingo at the Botanist, even a non-negotiable New Year Nando’s.

Out of that came real friendships - Chloe (the caring one), James (the quiet listener), and Chuggy-Buggy (the voice of reason). I think I’m the mum of the group, bringing everyone together. They see the drama behind the smile, and remind me it’s okay not to be cheerful all the time.

Handmade crochet pieces and materials

About a year ago, I realised that when I wasn’t working my main job or side jobs, I was often sitting in front of the TV. I wanted something to do with my hands, so I started learning to crochet. I love it!

I started with baby hats, but wanted to make something that felt more meaningful. So, one day a Muslim colleague told me about a folk tradition where some families cover baby bottles in order to protect the baby against harm from jinn and the ‘evil eye’. She suggested, if I was making hats, why not make baby bottle covers for the mosque too? I loved that idea.

In Lincoln there’s already an influx of baby hats, so the bottle covers feel to me like a small niche thing I can do that really matters. I’m still building my skills and confidence, but in a time where that community doesn’t always feel welcomed, it’s my own quiet way of showing that I care. This is my soft thing, in hard times.

Mr Montgomery Moo’s passport, adoption papers, and photographs

I have a dog called Mochi (aka Mr Montgomery Moo). Call him Mochi for short.

My friends clubbed together to get him for me in 2021. They knew I was looking to adopt one because I’d built a foundation for myself and felt I could start my own little family. This, for me, is a dog… nothing else. I knew exactly what I wanted: emotionally sticky, hypoallergenic, cute, friendly with everybody. Mr Montgomery Moo is perfect!

He’s a Romanian rescue, and people kept stopping me to ask what breed he was, so I did a DNA test and it was a very long list - but the highest percentage was Segugio Italiano & Chihuahua!

When we sleep, he always faces the door, making sure no one’s watching. He looks after me as much as I look after him. That must be the 2% wolf in him.

He’s multilingual. He understands Chinese and English, and is currently learning Spanish and he knows “siéntate” (sit)… we’re working on the rest. Everyone falls in love with him, I’ve had free bath bombs from Lush and free bubble tea because of him.

He‘s truly the love of my life.

Tony’s blue jumper and family photographs

My stepfather Tony is someone I can tell anything to without feeling judged and he has always supported my interests. Because of him, I got to explore drama, singing and theatre: things my Mum didn’t really understand.

He’s a grown man who loves cartoons, and we both love Kung Fu Panda. I once mentioned I’d always wanted to play Guitar Hero, and a few hours later he came back with the game saying, “is this what you wanted?”

It might seem small, but I think it was the first time I’d felt truly listened to.

There was once an incident in a restaurant where someone was being mean to me in Chinese. He didn’t understand the words, but he could see that I was upset, so he called out “just shut up”, he took me outside, and he comforted me.

That was when I realised he wasn’t just ‘my mum’s husband’, he’s my Kung Fu Pandaddy. My number one. Tony’s emotional, open, and makes me feel safe to be myself. I love that guy.

Labubu figures and Polaroids of friends

If you want a Labubu, I'll hook you up. I’m basically the queen of Pop Mart!

My tattoo artist even gave me a tattoo in return for a Labubu.

I know they’re dumb, but there’s something about small, customisable things that I adore. Particularly Labubus and Skull Pandas. I’m like a little magpie collecting shiny things and they’re just so pretty and cute.

They’re like tiny pieces of joy you can hold in your hand.

Blind boxes add to the excitement; it’s a gamble, with the chance of pulling a really rare one - like 1 in 168. I once accidentally pulled one and turned an £18 box into a £200 box. It was a flex and I felt like I found my own holy grail!

After years of moving constantly and always packing light, living solo in Lincoln is the first time I’ve felt rooted. Sure, they’re playful and a bit childish, but letting myself collect these things feels like proof I’m settled, I’m safe, and because I have too many trinkets to ship… looks like I’m staying.

Christmas baubles/decorations and 4 Nintendo Switch game

Growing up, our house was always full. Even though technically it was just the four of us living there, my Mum constantly opened our door to cousins, students or friends who were escaping difficult situations. Sometimes there were nine or ten of us in the house. I loved the busy-ness, the noise and the feeling of never ever being alone.

When I started living on my own, I realised that I missed that chaos. I worked hard to recreate it, building a home that’s never empty. Now I have people living with me too; friends who’ve had breakups, who’ve experienced loss, or who simply have nowhere else to land. The door is open.

If I have space, I say, come through. I don’t want anyone to experience homelessness or loneliness if I can help it. I love being another person’s safe space. Christmas is the perfect example. By 6pm my house is full. Friends finish with their families and come over. We build the tree together, decorate our own baubles, and add to it every year. It’s my found family. My home is never lonely and it will always be full.

A small sushi bowl, chopsticks, and decorative objects

Food is absolutely my love language. If I find somewhere good, we’re going. I particularly like Asian: Japanese, Chinese, Korean, the foods I grew up with and refuse to give up. I drag along my boyfriend and my friends to make them try everything.

If I go to Chinatown, I’ll fill a backpack with the snacks I used to eat as a child, then I’ll get everyone round to have a try! At Christmas we skip the roast and have a Chinese hot pot. It’s now a non-negotiable because everyone’s obsessed. The Turkey Roast is a thing of the past and the Chinese hot pot era is IN.

I’m also a total sl*t for sashimi and have fully trained my partner in “the ways of the soosh”. Wherever we go, the first thing he asks is whether they’ve got sashimi. We order it first, and we order... PLENTY of it!

Sharing food, cooking together, introducing people to new flavours via old memories, it’s how I show them that I care.

Feeding people is how I show them that I love them. I love you guys.